Your Mask

2004

The tears under your mask
reflect the beauty of your outside.
You'll keep on following
till your soul has died.
I'm here to protect you,
to keep you from falling.
You don't want to see
so I'll keep forestalling.
It won't take him long and you'll say
all boys are wrong, in their own way.
Then you'll see what it means
your sweet fourteens.

Point X

2003

Twenty three days in a box didn't make me think
how we could change our lives and carry on with it
Forced thinking, wasn't so forced at all,
I just needed the time, and the shadows on the wall.
The results became better, but the process was lethal
and slowly the words appeared on the paper
but then we ran out of ink and the relaxation.
The visions went blurry, the facts started rolling
I know you want to make decisions, but don't
cause you're better off thinking forever
then knowing at this point.
A whirl pool of thoughts, circulating through your head
your own problems seem to escape the world of today
as I sprinkle the words over your hands,
your cold hands, shivering and stumbling but still trying
to reach the eternity of the love which you got promised
but the promises turn in maybe, and maybe is now.
The tide has changed, but not drastically.
So I undust my boat, the blue rowboat, I reach out for your hand
granting you permission to enter, without a line
As I stroke up my sleeves and look in your eyes, the wind blows
and we know that's our sign.

Mountain

2004

Strangled up in my own words
fighting my way out, with only a blunt knife.
I open my small notebook, write down the words
that kept following me, throughout the journey.
I've seen valleys and peaks,
but most time I spent at the bottom
trying to find an answer, which took me weeks.
Now I'm at the top, empty handed,
with only a little bit of experience.
I've set out a trail, to follow
when it all starts over again.
Cause that's what it is. Life's a giant loop,
with only one way out.
My signs have been turned, and my path has been changed,
It's getting harder to breathe, got no oxygen,
cause you threw it away.
I know you hate me, I know you despise me,
that's why I stay alive. I'll never flee.

?

2004

The blurry window infront of your eyes
combined with gray worms of intelligence
confuses the thoughts of which you live
into big red questionmarks on my screen.
Doubting people increase your insecurity
and the bugs who are on your wings
make an annoying squeeky sound
when you fall into the sea.
And then there I'll be, swimming next to you
making you the confused one
when I blow the square bubbles
of the most hated element.
Now take away the loneliness
and hold my shivering hand
then I'll let you feel the vibes
I'm sure it is the way you meant.

Fake Hope

2004

All the hope you gave me,
all the things I gave you.
They weren't enough, for you to see
that you meant so much to me.
I wish I hadn't seen all the possibilities,
I wish I wasn't such a dreamer
I wish the things didn't go like they went
cause the pain you leave me with is 100 percent.
Our unfinished deal is faded away by his appearance,
our friend in black, is waiting in his corner.
I know it's too late, and so do you.
And if you don't, it will come through.

Ooit

2004

Nooit zal men het weten,
dat jij en ik meer wisten,
dan zij ooit hadden kunnen denken.
Maar toch kwamen we er nooit uit.
Een paar dingen bleven het zelfde,
maar de meerderheid koos,
voor wat voor ons onbereikbaar bleek,
toch de andere kant.
Alle dagen waren verloren gegaan,
aan zij die niet dachten,
maar jij en ik,
wij weten wel beter..

Is It You?

2004

Are you my friend,
are you my lover,
are you everything I hoped for,
please help me to discover.
Can I cry my heart out with you.
or do you want to hold it.
Is there a place for me,
or are the rooms full.
What should I do.
Is it you?
The spoken sign,
should make dreams come true.

Ditmaal

2004

Hoeveel graden moet de zon nog draaien,
voordat je het me vertelt.
Hoelang moet de klok nog tikken,
voordat je het me laat zien.
Hoeveel plaatjes moeter er nog worden gedraaid,
voordat ik het eindelijk te weten kom.
Dat wat jij mij te zeggen had,
leek als een gesloten deur,
in een kleurloze nachtmerrie,
onbereikbaar ver.
Maar de laatste krachten,
kwamen van jou ondoordachte,
afwending aan het verhaal,
enigzins te laat.. ditmaal.

Get me out

July 2004

Knowing we will never hug
I close my eyes
and see the images that
get troubled by my tears.
Every day I get confronted
I get hit on the back of my head
and they're wearing our masks,
they could be us.
They could be so near
but deep inside they're truly lost
and have found their biggest fear,
they know it, more than they want.
My mind displays errors,
but my heart keeps beating
in the same way, as we locked it
up for the first time in my life.

Break Into Me

2004

Open your eyes
is this the face of a lost man
wandering through the pouring rain
in search of the puppy he never owned.
Break into me
is this what I craved for
waiting and accepting
for never born nightmares faded into reality
Hear me out
unbalanced on a rusty scale
floating in a non-gravity vein
is this what we will be like?

Reveal

2004

Did you die inside your own dream
was the pain so unreal,
or more of a relief after all.
I'm dying to know what's going on.
I bet you're dying to tell
don't let this urge hold you back.
Open your briefcase and fly out
I'll ask if you want to hold my hand,
although I already know the answer.
Mime me out of this glass box,
I want to see again,
don't want to be broken anymore..

So Yeah

2004

Broken minded,
to leave you with a broken heart,
sleep my pretty girl,
your prince will come.
So yeah, that's what you could say
it was only this small fraction anyway,
a flipped world,
with loads of players.
I was ready to sacrifice,
but I guess you froze
'cause there was nothing much to give
so yeah, that's pretty much what we were left with.
Are you opening your mind,
and giving yourself ages to analyze.
Will you come up with any advice,
to torture your own eyes.
Then I shall give you ages,
which you'll store up,
cause I already know my answer.
Yeah? So!..

The girl with the time

August 2004

You show the cuts on your wrist
and whisper: "They aren't that deep".
Then secretely I want to turn my hand into a fist
and think how a grown up man is not supposed to weep.
And yet everything seems so unreal
and yet everything flashes infront of my eyes
so I try and remember how to feel
but the only thing I'm left with are just your lies.
I don't think the memories can compete with the situation
a place, infinite and personal, is the base
that reminds me of the things, our salvation
and something singular and impossible to erase.
Yet we find no passion, and everything else just restrained
and you find some time, cause our talk is scheduled
but all my questions stay unexplained
and your feelings are still being overruled.

Te diep

2004

Wapperende vlaggen symboliseren een gedachte van rust
die we gebruiken om de tijd te stoppen
maar een gestopte tijd is helaas niet meer dan
een soort van inzinking van de gedachte zelf.
Een gezicht met ogen heeft meer te vertellen
dan een afbeelding met duizend woorden.
En als er dan geprobeerd wordt iets te bereiken
is dat ene woord afkomstig van die ene blik al genoeg.
En als je lichaam kon spreken
zou het dan niet zeggen "Dit ben ik niet!"
Maar het maakt niet uit
want we komen er toch wel.

Pick the grapes

2004

I try my very best,
to congratulate the rest,
but I have no idea
what the fuck I'm doing here.
All I see, is all you are,
walking the road, we got so far.
Now we're analyzing our lives,
cutting up pillows with kitchen knives.
For you it was from one day to another,
but really it was like every other.
I'm so sorry you couldn't see
but today, we threw away our last key.

Diversity

2004

This inspiration and knowledge,
and this said to be skill
crave for an owner
and something to fill.
Left in complete darkness,
I found this bit of light,
a step toward something new,
something that, after all, wasn't so real.
There will be no ignorance,
just more time to learn that,
pain itself,
is something we'll never understand.

I think I fly

2004

One more second and I will die,
as I go along clouds, I assume I fly.
Thoughts grasp my mind and I see my whole life passing by,
moments before impact, I suddenly realised,
I never actually could fly.

Twelve tears

2004

I wave my white flag at you,
even though it's not white at all.
It's covered in stains,
black, crimson and watery blue.
And I can remember,
when we painted the rainbow on it,
and watched the stars,
fading into a big ball of light.
Of all the words I wanted to say,
some keep facing me,
like water splashing up the shore,
leaving me with nothing but debris.
The true meaning of my words,
can never be discovered,
as they had no real meaning,
and just danced infront of my eyes.

More than pain

2004

I wonder what it feels like,
to beat myself in the face,
and leave a row,
of white skin produced by my own knuckles.
I think it would hurt,
if I ran as fast as I could,
and ram my stomache,
into an outsticking object.
I know the worst pain,
goes through heart and soul,
but I lost count,
of your bullets in my body.

With a tail

2004

I'm tired of clinging to your leg,
but the thought of losing you,
has become my greatest fear,
and I find myself in pieces.
I curl up in my bed,
turn around,
reach out for thin air,
and leave an expression on my face.
I crawl and run at the same time,
I ask for your grace,
and you leave me on the floor,
nothing near bleeding.

Encounter from outer space

2004

You and me,
we have this tendency,
to clear our minds with ease,
and fill up the empty space with laughter.
I can't find the human in you,
you might have hidden it somewhere else,
and I don't know where the truth is,
I can only say your voice is louder than mine.
What I'll be is nothing more,
then twigs floating away.
to wherever the stream ends,
and where my epitaph shall be written.

How I wish to be a sunflower

April 2005

I'm the choking victim,
blood type B drowns me.
I'm the one with the scars no-one can see,
I've been betrayed by someone with a name like me.
I'm digging a hole,
throw away the earth that will soon swallow me whole,
I hope you can be at my funeral,
on a misty night in your white silky gown.
Will you lay some plastic flowers on my head,
'cause I welted the real ones,
and burnt the wood for my coffin,
in a mood I can never explain.
Took my things the difficult way,
if everything was simple,
than I didn't had to run,
I might be better off missing out on all the fun.

Pessimistically stubborn

April 2005

My broken heart
is now held together
with a safety pin
that waits to rust.
And every time my heart pumps
the bloodstream passes the cold metal,
and memories bottle up,
making me think more about pain.
I should have showed stuff earlier
'cause maybe you would have have realised then
that my suicide was
just a matter of when.

Kitchen knife

April 2005

I gave you access to my heart,
but now the only one who's in it,
is this kitchen knife,
walking past this huge crack.
And these acid tears are heavier,
then the breathing problems,
caused by the lack of blood,
that happily drains outta my head.
And these faltering sighs,
and red eyes,
are nothing more,
than one's mind with sorrow.

An organization for the protection of consumer interest

2005

I still think about you,
purposely,
randomly,
destructively.
I hate you,
cherish you,
love you,
but I do so miss you.
I want to scream,
cry,
change your mind,
and still be there.
Just,
yeah just,
just,
just for the sake of us

Chained memories

2005

My arm feels numb,
I lose focus,
dwelling on memories,
chain onto chain.
Forcing my way,
to forgive and regret,
I don't want to forget,
that what never could be said.
Torture myself,
uncertain for how long,
and not bothered,
for the memories will never be gone.

Colours for the blind

2005

Thinking is the key factor,
for misused words,
as a brown trail,
concludes evidence of fear.
A sharp edged movement,
is a white row,
if directed correctly,
and fired at the right speed.
Yellow perspective,
is just as necessary,
as the sun for the earth,
in every grain of sand.
And even if you mix all the colours,
the world for the blind will always be black,
as unreplacable dreams,
conduct us to colourful futures.

Opgesloten

2005

Gezamenlijk
in je eentje zitten,
fluisterend
horen wat ze zeggen,
afzonderen
in een deurloze kamer,
mediterend
rock muziek luisteren,
typerend
en toch onbehartig.

Annual rant

2005

Is there anything so fragile as friendships,
can one thing be so obvious,
and as we move along,
do we even realise what we got.
Not enough time units for that what we want,
restrained by insufficient knowledge,
and reluctantly blinded and deaf,
for we ought to know the consequences.
What do we actually know,
besides exploiting and feeling guilty,
and lying and showing a rotten smile,
we can no longer go on in disguise.

Onvolledige verwerking

2005

Zachter dan een lentes briesje,
met de zachtste rijkdom,
die voor een mens,
echt heel belangrijk kan zijn.
In de zachtste omstandigheden,
en met een babyhuidje,
zal jij daar staan te wachten,
totdat een spier zich aanspant.
En lachend word ik wakker,
op het allerzachtste kussen,
want ik weet dat het een droom is,
en dat is best hard.

Dear dictionary..

2005

Four floating prophylactics,
I can not propitiate you anymore,
a proportion of myself,
has lost it's propulsion.
Proscribed by my own mind,
fucked like a prostitute,
this is my protean existence,
I can not protract it anymore.

Tolerance drains me

2005

I know the outcome of this,
yet I don't think about the consequences,
nor can I recall it's aftermath
and I wonder whether I was thinking at all.
Inevitable situations
and the delusion of knowing yourself,
can be lethal on your own expense,
so comfort your mind with suicide.
Every time I'm still amazed by the impact,
that small things can have on larger ones,
and that allowing a lot,
is not only a gift but also a curse.

Your captain speaking

2005

I glide through the sky, ground up, air down,
panic grasps my mind,
"One mistake" echoes,
within the walls of my skull.
Behind a dark cloud,
a shape appears,
it's a silver lining,
then it closes in on me.
The lining merges into more lines,
a cross shape with noises and speed,
the collision is inevitable,
"thanks for flying with boyfriend arlines" he said.

This person will self-destruct in..

2005

The bullet penetrates through my skull,
splinters of bone shoot up my nerval system
but my brain hasn't reacted yet,
and all I do is smile.
I fucking well know what you did,
perhaps it's better this way,
and I hope your insides burn
due to guilt and maybe even sorrow.
I shall not weep,
nor forgive, because my statement was clear,
and be saying those words,
you agreed to my terms of paranoia.

Circulating apples

2005

I walk through the city,
there are too many streets on the cars,
my last night contained of partying,
and there's too much blood in my alcohol system.
The lady of this parfum reminds me,
of all the curtains I wanted to pull,
and this sewage water tastes like coffee,
but it seems to go unnoticed.
Then the air spits out a human being,
and all faces turn around,
my common sense makes room for envy,
and I'm back in the club again.

His evil plan

2005

Snap,
his mind said,
posted worldwide over the interweb,
cells come to life but stay dead.
Interference accelerates the process,
of not knowing,
living in distress,
chewing on your hair strands.
All roads lead to Rome,
with no way back,
and everything is an one way stream,
but your bridge was broken.

Around the corner

April 15th, 2005

60 steps in the dark,
and two backwards,
fastforward button,
plays up again.
Your pale face,
on the tape in the mud,
the pieces of tent,
and the intriguing scent.
Nothing reminds me more,
when silent noises fade in,
and the old tv screen,
opens his mouth.

Be my rehab centre

April 16th, 2005

Such a nice approach,
I'm falling in love,
with the words that pass your lips,
combined with your soothing gesture.
For me these seconds could freeze,
but for you it was any average routine,
and it's now that I think,
I shouldn't have taken your drug.
Addicted as you can get,
you know one day it will tear you up,
so reveal to me,
this never ending story.

Church at midnight

April 18th, 2005

Blasphemous crow,
leave my Mary alone,
her darkred eyes,
may drop a watery cone.
Grey winged boy,
your pale skin looks so smooth,
your blue frozen lips,
show the results of this flood.
Broken glasses,
and the devasted look of you,
your dress is lying on the concrete,
and there is nothing I can do.

Midnight shadows and highlights

April 24th, 2005

The moonlight cast a shine over my chair,
making it look spacey,
and I watched the alien,
playing with the stuff on my desk.
And my floor was floating,
in the glow of his ship's headlights,
But it didn't seem to bother any of us,
we just played along.
Music and red dots faded,
but when I turned on the light,
I witnessed an unpleasant sight,
of me still being alone.

We've got a ten-eleven

May 4th, 2005

Ten centilitre injection,
show the world my affection,
when I'm lying still,
in a white bed with a yellow pill.
Black eye, blue marks,
scratches all over my body,
twenty inch wound barks,
and still not out of this cocon.
Too many reasons,
not knowing how it's caused,
beating away my hormones,
I should have paused.

Stuurlui aan wal

May 31st, 2005

Mijn vingers zijn verstrengelt geraakt,
in de wirwar van haren,
ik wil niet zeggen dat dit het einde is,
maar er is ook geen teken van een begin.
Ik vind het wel goed zo,
ik dein op de golven van het leven,
en ook al gaat de tijd nog zo snel,
voordat ik in de haven ben heb ik nog wel even.
Je legt je neer met het idee,
dat de volgende golf je kan verdrinken,
en op die belangrijke momenten,
laat je je bootje op het midden van het water zinken.

Cityboy

June 11th, 2005

Cityboy, I saw you again, in the city,
riding your bike up and down the paved road,
why don't you come in,
why don't you come in and play with my paper boat.
Cityboy, what are you doing, in this village,
I know it's nothing like you,
when I saw it in your eyes,
and the clouds came by.
I hoped I could run with you,
but I'm a victim of these peasants,
and what would your poor mom say,
when she sees us topless under the fountains?

Narcissism

June 21st, 2005

Let me inhale the scent of this candysweet
corpse dwelming on top of this molested grave,
and who's identity to me,
is just as a broken shadow casted over it's devotion.
I'm not sure if I'll make the end of the day,
when it's a rather selfish compilation,
of these non-existant visions that poison my mind,
for I am your personal asshole.
I can't keep up with myself,
the daily routine of self-indulgence has to stop,
but like every other bottomless well,
the motions always end up in a traffic jam.
I simply can't grasp the time,
hold it still, for a moment,
so I can stand up off the ground,
and observe the damage of a beast.
But as long as my heart is beating,
and this summer continuously strikes me down,
I'm afraid the rippled surface,
would mean nothing but a blank expression.

Disguised under make-up

July 24th, 2005

Just don't ask,
as I don't know the date,
and I might forget,
the things we used to had.
If you had known me,
and I had known not to fall for it,
would I be here, right now,
or is there no such thing as destiny.
Thanks for the rush, just what I needed,
tied my hands on my back,
and ready to plunge,
the attack of white and itself.

The European suicide kid

August 13th, 2005

The doctor gave me my driving license,
and I knew that once I stole a car,
I'd be gone in 215 seconds,
on my way to the city of love.
So here I stand, thinking whether it's high enough,
but the tourist assured me I'd be dead instantly,
so as I climbed over the railing,
I au revoired Mr Eiffel.
Free my mind from all demons,
suicide a la French,
like a French kiss burning away your insides,
as you bite for air.
I wanted to send you a postcard,
a postcard with city views at night,
of Paris and of love,
signed yours truly.
I'm speeding down south now,
I changed my mind,
and as I roll into more thoughts,
it turned out Rome is more lethal.

De zeemeeuw en de doorgewinterde matroos

October 19th, 2005

Zij strijkt haar vleugels,
geoxideerde materie zoekt zijn weg,
maar zijt niet ijdel genoeg,
en ze vallen en vallen.
Verbrede horizons,
op de brug van het schip,
overdenk jij je angst,
en ik mijn zonden.
Ik zie je vliegen,
maar jij ziet mij niet,
en je ogen zoeken het licht,
de lijn.
Gevangen en behaagd,
een gevoel van machteloosheid,
en bewustzijn,
de draad kwijt willen zijn.

Path of the lotus

January 14th, 2006

The little shy creature is history,
it has proven to be much more than an image.
It's now a real painting,
that shows the world it's beauty.

I've watched you grow over the years,
I've watched and waited,
for never ending tears,
to be finally sedated.

I wanted to be your peace,
and perhaps I even was,
considering all the little thoughts,
that we shared.

Like a flower you're blossoming,
finding your way through the wilderness,
in the eternity of nature,
I give you this.

Hush your mouth,
you don't have to speak,
or anything else to do,
because it's my turn to say "I love you".

Catatonic cutting

January 15th, 2006

Dare to believe, that the dream you see,
is the nightmare we live in,
and to feel the rain fall on your skin,
we need to find shelter within ourselves.
Compelled by inaccuracy,
we fall into each others arms,
as if it's something we do every day,
when we feel rebounded again.
Your short-term memory,
approxiamately the last thing standing,
shows us a sequence,
to get us out of this pit.

She gave him a prozac receipt

February 3rd, 2006

It didn't matter how much movies he could quote,
how many scenes he remembered,
'cause he seen the light,
and it felt so right.

Every night, he held her tight,
watching the sun rise from under it's blanket,
as days were getting shorter,
and the birds took off for the last time.

He drops the letter,
it had became unreadable,
now it's closing him in,
his heart was left empty.

Insensitive, he was,
for broken hearts she fought,
then the dark clouds embraced the piece of paper,
and they could cross one off again.

The wish you were here postcard

February 11th, 2006

Feeling integrated, despite the obstacles within
the distance that we reach, from one point,
to another, like an arrow,
turning my heart into an explosion.
This heartache is something I can not bare,
run my fingers through your hair, as if you're here
with me, to withdraw me from the fire
that I fell into when I saw you.
Girl, I'm on fire, flames reaching higher and higher,
this is burning me up from the inside,
and I'm not longing for water,
merely the presence of your aura's pressure.

Oblivious daydreaming contradicts the mind

February 12th, 2006

I suppose twelve days were enough,
to throw your arms in the air,
close your eyes,
and let the air take you away into rapture.
It's autumn in my body,
the veins fall down to the ground,
when they're sick and tired,
of just hanging around.
But enough about me,
how's your day,
can't believe we're so far away,
glowing on stories they tell.
Hey, where are we now,
why did you walk when you can fly,
I'm writing to you angel,
leave me on the ground.

A basket and some wings, please

February 13th, 2006

I swear I never meant to lie to you,
but I wore it on my sleeve,
and apparently it wasn't obvious enough,
because you just didn't get colder.
So I lead myself on,
knowing that, what I didn't know,
was so dangerous,
yet so beautiful.
I fall, you catch, but I still fall,
and the holes I leave in the clouds,
recall those moments, that I wasn't with you,
a big gaping void, waiting to be filled.
I want to know how to heal the clouds,
but how is it possible, when I'm walking around,
missing all these parts
that I once had.

Geloof er nu nog maar in

February 13th, 2006

Weet je, het is niet erg,
omdat ik toch twijfelde,
ik was dingen aan het afwegen,
met een stok in één van m'n handen.
Ik was zo ver in mijn dromen,
had het bijna allemaal uitgewerkt,
maar toen het begon te wankelen,
raakte je in paniek.
Wat is dit, een diep gesneden lach,
op je zachte stralende gezicht,
is dit echt, is dit uitgerekend nu,
wat ik toch al had verwacht.
Het maakt me ziek, je staat zo zielig daar,
en ik, ik sta niet eens, ik ben er niet, ik ben al lang weg,
want ik kan het niet aan, gezien de tijd en de emoties,
die ik voortdurend moet weerstaan.
Een in een onwetenheid gewikkeld excuus,
liet me staren, dwars door het beeld,
dat ik opgezet had, omdat ik dacht,
dat er toch nog ergens hoop was.

De dochter van moeder natuur

February 25th, 2006

Ze danst in het maanlicht,
er is niks anders,
althans niet voor haar,
omdat ze kan dansen.
Ze springt door het zand,
de warme korrels vliegen door de lucht,
ze voelt zich vrij,
het water kietelt haar tenen.
In het hoge gras rust ze uit,
de wind waait zachtjes,
en laat de bomen zwaaien,
zodat de bladeren naar beneden dwarrelen.
Haar haren spelen met de golven,
als de sneeuwvlokken haar ontwijken,
en haar spoor enigzins,
weer wordt bedekt, zoals altijd.

Second class love

February 25th, 2006

Every song and every gesture,
reminds me of you,
but you don't remind me of myself.
We walk and talk,
at your favourite place,
but you're not there.
I am without you,
but you're not without me,
infact you're all around me.

The missing chain

February 25th, 2006

This is the reflex,
of someone who's perplex,
by things they didn't want to know,
untill it came to their own mind.
I'm calling out to whoever receives this,
all the way up there,
for you have been the chosen ones,
but blind you were.
Living each day with the same idea,
that changing myself, would change you,
and I don't know where I am,
I suppose I can say I'm lost.
You're no guide, or a star,
but being yourself is far beyond that,
and here I am, doing things for you,
that you'll never know about.
It's no secret,
just a mere disease,
that taunts me,
when you're not around.
Eventhough I can't say it,
and you take everything twice,
I still feel you near me,
as if you never were anywhere else.

Sunday evening report

February 26th, 2006

Her honeymoon was a trip to the graveyard,
and all he could do was sing about it,
sing about whatever came to mind,
when he found her on the floor.
The crow flew in through the window,
while he was kneeling,
next to her numb body,
she looked even prettier than before.
Pieces of glass lay about,
telling the story of a romance,
that was bound to broaden horizons,
but never got further than "I miss you"

Thornless roses

March 10th, 2006

The underlying sediment,
home of the roots,
worthy for this compliment,
is eroding like 20 acres of wood.
Erupted from his teethless mouth,
blooming away in the void,
unable to shout,
leaving something he seriously enjoyed.
Spurting and floating in the waters,
unreceived calls,
victorious defeat on this bright day,
and a homemade noose.

All these fears

March 10th, 2006

I've been thinking about pushing you away,
but I fear our joints might disconnect,
and you know the dangers of floating in space,
I never wanted to be an astronaut.
So for now I'm staying on the ground,
I've got enough airplanes zooming me by
as I have my head up in the clouds,
and you know about my fear of flying.
Writing away the bad versus the good,
I seem to float on the things I loathe,
but secretely I'm lying to myself,
because it's only radiating the opposite.

Giving in to the green

March 26th, 2006

We'll run around through the grass,
till we fall on our backs from laughing,
and we look up to the sky,
and I watch your lungs fill with air.
We manage to catch our breath,
and I'm still watching you,
the rhythm of your chest,
makes me calm, and I fall asleep.
The sun carresses my skin,
and you woke me up with a haulm,
so we could go for a swim,
in eachother's eyes.

For the freak

April 4th, 2006

Do not try to smile, blue eyes,
because the tears roll over your lips,
if you have them in that angle,
that could shoot stars out of the sky.
But you know me, the pessimist I am,
I see your tears use the other side of that angle,
and torpedo my head into the ground,
that I already dug out bare handed.
I'm like the guy with the glasses,
that's always there, but never anywhere,
the one you can rely on,
back in the old days.
Frankly nobody knows how they end up,
or even, if they end up,
because what is an end with a beginning,
that seems like you never were alive?

Time is a lying bastard

April 17th, 2006

My capitulation fell into a wrong perception,
and you have no idea how scary it is,
to find balance on this string.
Beauty doesn't bend, instead it breaks like a porcelain face,
shallow cracks seem so harmless,
as long trails derive from them.
Into the night where I thought I was safe,
and to think fleeing from captivation was easy,
with my eyes focusing on surging holes.
Everything's pulling on the inside,
from the hanging puppet's head,
I once used to dwell on.
To witness the falling into patterns,
with standardization and beginning endings,
is the most selfish thing I can do; I succeeded.

Herhaling

April 17th, 2006

Ik bezwijk aan zelfmedelijden,
als mijn woorden gesmoord en gedrenkt,
uit de hoeken van mijn mond druppelen.
Ik doe niet aan vereenvoudiging,
want sommige doelen zijn de integerheid,
die langs het wit in je ogen schieten.
Niemand weet de waarheid,
want de waarheid is een product,
gemaakt in combinatie met sympathie.

Section of the umbilical cord

April 23rd, 2006

It is an open sore, that invites you to the womb of his pain,
secrets lie nested within the warm rug,
reflections increase the speed of light, we like white,
you won't find shelter in our asylum.
There is no cure for those who want to be locked up,
so we build windows in the lockets around our necks,
and make them watch the world with a perception,
for they are our angels, we like angels.
Her tongue pushed in her cheek,
to feel the blisters, she said,
I came to realize, I never was so great at all,
fire-spitting isn't cut out for girls I replied.
She shrugged and the rest of the gestures flowed free,
away into the open air, the cold night,
where stars tenderly kiss and hug,
and we found reasons to settle for a ceasefire.

The sexist letter, part Nth

April 28th, 2006

Quite funny how certain things don't work,
when you're lying naked, drenched in gasoline,
with the roots of several trees sticking in your back.
Never thought they could drag me in,
playing games that shouldn't be played,
in times when you thought the sun was your best friend.
Erase the name in your mind with clouds and alcohol,
reassure yourself that nothing is what it seems,
eventhough everything is written on your hand.

Wooden toys are never the same

April 30th, 2006

The puppets of the world hang silently,
on their shivering strings,
when touched by a breeze of wind.
The only one who can revive them is you,
sprinkling your fairy dust over their little wooden heads,
that shine in the soft moonlight.
Their vessels wind up around your fingers,
limbs reach out and tangle in the air,
with one single movement you make them dance.

International correspondents

May 8th, 2006

Falling backwards into the ocean,
little fish came to watch upon me,
as I serenade the silent words,
chanted into songs of broken hearts.
I can't get the line off,
it's haunting me through the night,
when the day handed the victory,
to the pale man and his emotionless face.
Your words about lack of time and peace,
are holding me down, in the light,
where I slowly dissolve in,
those evil beams of our beloved sun.
Funny how certain miscommunications,
are so painfully elaborated,
that we can not laugh with our face,
but through the cracks in our hearts.
Supposedly this is what you get,
when your heart attacks,
no combustion in the chamber,
a mere illuminating shine of fear from my eyes.
So here's a telegram with a bullet,
for the intake, gaping hole, seemingly,
big enough for the two of us,
only if you hadn't locked it.

So much more

May 18th, 2006

If putting flowers in my hair could be an approved spare time thing,
then I'd be withheld by the things that never could stop you.
Somewhere, I still think, that there could have been so much more,
than a row of excuses for the fake persons that we hold inside.
You have no idea how much I long for windy days to airborne my kite,
so I can steer it along the waves of the sky and sail it into the night.
Summertime cliches never were enough for you, you needed so much more,
and I'm hopping along, jumping from one of your thoughts to another, in ecstasy.

Pixies around your head

May 25th, 2006

Somewhere between the trees and the fog,
the wet illuminating moss,
I can only focus on the rotten deceased log,
to be honest, my entire life is built around your loss.
As I walk on, further into the woods,
my footsteps sink into the mud,
every step I make, changes your mood,
the missiles you fire are all duds.
Can't you see I'm struggling with myself,
I'm more scared than I ever been,
love's not the same as it was when we were twelve,
but it's your life and I picture myself somewhere in between.

Het geheim van de smid

July 28th, 2006

Een zilveren pijl, sierlijk en vakbekwaam herrozen,
vanuit een donkere warme broedplaats,
voor elegantie en gratie, als het had gekozen,
scheidt het letterlijk en figuurlijk, willekeurig melaats.
Onderworpen aan de wetten der natuur, vervolgt het zijn weg,
waar het kan gaan, tot een samenloop van omstandigheden,
en ophoping van mathematische formules, of een simpele heg,
de voortgang onderbreken en het tot z'n recht brengen, het verleden.

Untitled

October 7th, 2007

Dear world,
what's up with this progression,
you unwanted piece of fuçk,
break or die, I'll never kiss the sky.

Make thy God bow and give room for the chosen ones,
whisper in silence, cry at night,
Frighten are the lambs,
that will never find shelter at your side.

Play this violin one more time,
for this shepherd shall lose one sheep,
and while it will get stabbed in the back,
it will always be a win-win situation.

Bitch.

Het plein

October 16th, 2007

Het begint al vroeg,
zo rond je achtste levensjaar,
sta je daar dan op het schoolplein.

Je wordt ouder, het plein ook,
op naar het volgende plein,
museumplein, kauwgum, sigaretten en alcohol.

Daar sta je weer,
het oude vertrouwde plein,
samen met je mede-senioren, kleinkinderen en kaartspellen.

Het plein staat voor iets centraals,
zoals jij in het midden van je leven staat,
kinderkopjes, baarmoederschopjes, bruine beren dropjes.